For a few years recently, I had a huge fear of flying. I did not have this fear in the first 2-3 flights I took a long time ago. After a few years of not flying, the next time I got back in a plane, I was scared stiff!

This fear continued until just in the last year or so. It took me awhile but I finally figured out why - I was scared of giving up control of my life. I mistakenly thought that on the ground, I could control all aspects of my safety - drive carefully, eat right, exercise, etc.

I eventually learned to "let go" of that fear when flying (although not totally!) and I understand that at some point, I don't have control of my life. That was really reinforced in April when I was diagnosed with cancer.

I love this clip from the HBO mini-series, Band of Brothers. In this scene, Blythe is explaining why he basically had shell shock after parachuting in on D-Day. I don't necessarily agree with Speirs' response in full but I do agree with this: You are already dead.

You are already dead. That's a fact. Everyone dies and you cannot be paralyzed by that fact.

I started learning more about what I can do in my fight against cancer, whether through eating right, exercising or managing stress. And, don't forget the chemotherapy.

So far, I'm beating cancer. And for a split second, I fell back into that old trap -- I started thinking that I was beating cancer because of all the things I was doing. Nope. That's not it.

We can all die any day, any time. It's that simply. You can be as healthy as anyone and still die the next day. What's it all mean?

We are all dead men walking, to borrow an old phrase that's been in the movie The Green Mile and Dead Man Walking. At some point, God determines when we live or die.

But there is hope, even in death. That gives me strength. Here's what Paul says in the new testament:

 ³⁵ But someone may ask, “How will the dead be raised? What kind of bodies will they have?” ³⁶ What a foolish question! When you put a seed into the ground, it doesn’t grow into a plant unless it dies first. ³⁷ And what you put in the ground is not the plant that will grow, but only a bare seed of wheat or whatever you are planting. ³⁸ Then God gives it the new body he wants it to have. A different plant grows from each kind of seed. ³⁹ Similarly there are different kinds of flesh—one kind for humans, another for animals, another for birds, and another for fish.

 ⁴⁰ There are also bodies in the heavens and bodies on the earth. The glory of the heavenly bodies is different from the glory of the earthly bodies. ⁴¹ The sun has one kind of glory, while the moon and stars each have another kind. And even the stars differ from each other in their glory.

 ⁴² It is the same way with the resurrection of the dead. Our earthly bodies are planted in the ground when we die, but they will be raised to live forever. ⁴³ Our bodies are buried in brokenness, but they will be raised in glory. They are buried in weakness, but they will be raised in strength. ⁴⁴ They are buried as natural human bodies, but they will be raised as spiritual bodies. For just as there are natural bodies, there are also spiritual bodies.