All Because of You, I Am
One week ago today, the doctor came in the office neither wearing a frown or a smile. That wasn't unusual but when you're waiting for him to tell you whether you will continue with a seventh round of chemotherapy or whether you're done, you start to fill in the blanks: is that a half-smile? Is he not smiling cause he has bad news?
Unless you've been there, it's a hard feeling to describe. A friend at work hit it on the head: with cancer, there's no in-between. It's either up or down.For me, Sept 3 will be remembered as a great day - by God's mercy, my cancer is in complete remission. God made it happen. Yes, he can use chemotherapy, doctors and whatever but if you believe in God, then you know He controls life and death. My wife showed me a verse last night from Deuteronomy 8 that reminded me of something I had thought about prior to visiting the doctor: We can easily think that Man is doing all the work and not God. 10 When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. 11 Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. 12 Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, 13 and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, 14 then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
I feel for my brothers and sisters who are still going through chemotherapy, battling that hell. The unnatural fatigue that zaps you of nearly all energy. The nausea for a week or more. The mouth sores. The funky taste and appetite. The heartburn. The rashes from low white blood count (so infections come easier - even small ones). I could go on. My battle is not over. I have scans every three months to make sure the cancer is not back. In February, I'll start maintenance therapy to make sure it doesn't come back. (This is nothing compared to chemotherapy.) But today, I celebrate one week of great news! I give God the credit. All Because of You, I Am.